until I get to where I am essential
until I get to where I am

This is my greatest performance and all of the actresses who won my parts
will say how wonderful to let yourself go that mad, how wonderful to go on
this kind of journey and not care if you come back to tell the story.

I don't hurt anymore.
I'm not lonely anymore.
I'm not sad.
I'm not pretty anymore.
I made it through.

Every day I get a little closer to vanishing.

One day
[..]
I'll go outside fluttering my hands so I can fly
and I will be so slight that I will pass through all of you silently like wind.

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from despair to where?